The third topic for my quest for happiness is:
"You Don't Have to Win Every Time" from the book 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People, by David Niven, Ph.D.
"Ultra competitive people, who always need to win, end up enjoying things less. If they lose they are very disappointed, and if they win it's what they expected would happen anyway".
This one I think is easier to notice in other people than in myself. I often criticize people for
being a 'psycho' or 'a little too into it' if they are extremely competitive. I work with one such person, and he sometimes drives me crazy. For those of you who work with me, you know who I am talking about! :0)
The truth is, I am the same way - when I really care about what I am competing in and its not always sporting events either.
During high school, I was used to getting As in everything. I graduated Suma Cum Laud with a 3.98 GPA. I really liked school and was good at it. Well, I was definitely handed a curve ball in college! I started to get Bs and Cs and developed severe anxiety because of it. I went into college wanting to be a pediatrician. I chose biology as my major and soon found that about 80% of all bio majors wanted to go to med, dental or pharmacy school. I changed my focus to
pharmacy and then started to take notice of all the other pre-pharm students in my classes - and immediately created this competitive air around us. This hurt me me far more than it helped. I had a hard time finding people to study with when I needed help. I started really
struggling with school, my anxiety got worse, which made it hard for me to focus on school - a vicious cycle. It was after my junior year that I realized that I didn't have to be the best all the time. Getting an occasional B or C wasn't going to kill me - but by that point my GPA was too far gone to bring it up to a satisfactory level for Pharmacy school, or really any professional or graduate school in the health career field. Its something that I regret almost every day. I now know that if I wouldn't have felt the need to WIN every time I probably would have been more relaxed, learned more and been a much happier (and smarter) student in general. Its a tough lesson to learn, especially in a country like ours that puts so much emphasis on being the best
all the time. Well, I would like to change that to be YOUR best all the time. Be the BEST
person you can be - and win or loose (or good grade or average) you will know that you did your best!
Now for a picture of something that makes me very happy! These are my grandma's buns. Yep, I have a slight obsession with these. She makes them homemade and I have never had any bun that could even come close the deliciousness of these buns! I LOVE THEM. Sorry if it causes you to salivate a bit :0)
Love,
Margaret
2 comments:
Those buns really are tasty...and her apple pie, and her mashed potatoes, and her roast beef, and her ham, and her...well, let's just say I've never had a bad meal of her's. I always leave her table really full!!!
Ugh, being a type A person is HARD WORK!!! I agree with you completely. That's totally how it was in Chiropractic School. It's even worse now that we're all out and competing against each other. BTW, those buns do look tasty.
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